First Page

The first page of your submitted manuscript (just like the query letter), is a make-or-break situation. It sends the message, in less than six sentences, that you know how to write and offer a saleable story.

For this reason, as you craft your first page, remember you absolutely must, above all else, create curiosity so the reader will want to know "what happens next?" (Contrary to what you may have believed, your first page is not written to encourage a potential reader, it's written to engage the interest of an agent or editor.)

The first page of your manuscript will change in the editing process of your book. It always does. Marketing and sales people will input concepts to motivate the book reader/browser to keep reading. But for now, you have one goal as you write and revise your first page: keep the agent reading to turn to the next page, then to the next, and so on.

Your first page doesn’t have to contain ALL the elements listed on the sidebar, but it must have enough of them to create a strong opening “hook” to motivate the reader to turn the page and become involved with your story.

Here are some examples of opening pages that do the job.

ONE
Some people think the cicadas bring trouble when they come to town. I don't think that's true. I think trouble finds its way without any help at all.
Comment:
Hmmm. So what is going to happen? The time frame is clear: early summer with the cicadas (grasshopper-like bugs) hatch. The voice of the speaker is clear and wise. The moment becomes emotional and mysterious. Curiosity will motivate the agent to turn the page to discover what kind of trouble is about to arrive and who's involved.

TWO
His cab splashed down the street, then became invisible behind sheets of rain. Maggie pressed her face against my side, unable to watch dad leave us. I shivered, thinking, nothing good ever happens when it rains.
Comment:
The stage is set. Cold, mysterious, something has happened. Dad is leaving. A child, left behind, cries and can’t bear to look. Where is Dad going? Is he coming back? Who is this child? What the heck is going on? The agent will turn the page to find out.

THREE
When I think the perfect kitchen, it would be over flowing filled with authentic food . . . great food. Like cheese cake, left-over pot roast, fresh cream, organic sugar, and frozen cake. In my not-so-perfect kitchen, a jar of pickles and stale crackers sit in the cupboard, the flowers are brittle ghosts of their former selves, and my Smith and Wesson lives in the sugar canister. I can’t remember where I hid the bullets. I also can’t remember what happened to the birthday cake that used to be stashed in the freezer, for emergencies. Ah, I remember. I ate it.
Comment:
Not many clues about the story, but the voice is interesting and fresh. Why does this person, with practically no food in the kitchen, keep a gun in the sugar canister?  But no bullets? Apparently she’s not much of a cook or house keeper. Why the bird seed? Curiosity about this quirky person will keep the agent reading.

WHY THEY WORK
The first two examples contain few adjectives and adverbs. Instead the nouns and verbs are powerful and stand along, without modifiers. The third example isn’t written as tightly—a good example of how it’s OK to break the rules if you’re using adverbs and adjectives to show how an interesting character thinks and behaves.
In all three examples, there are no compound sentences tied together with “and.”

YOUR GREATEST CHALLENGE?
Writing your compelling first page in 170 words or less. By the time you format the page with contact information upper left hand corner, space down 15 lines, then center your title and your name, there’s not much room left for text. This is why your first page must begin the exact moment the story begins to create a sense of tension/urgency. Back story can be told as the story unfolds.

EXERCISE
Use a yellow hi-lighter and mark all adjectives. Mark adverbs in pink. Highlight all weak words (see the side bar list) in green.

Rainbow attack?
If your first page looks more like a rainbow than a manuscript, whoopsie! It's time to re-vise with stronger nouns and verbs as you eliminate weak words. Then consider the same exercise for your manuscript. Yes, your entire manuscript. If your first page is weak because of the words you’ve just highlighted, chances are they run rampantly throughout your entire manuscript.

MAJOR HINT
The agent or editor reading your first page will assume you've written the rest of your manuscript in the same manner. Therefore, if your first page is overloaded with adjectives, adverbs, and weak words, they may not read any further.
Need some assistance revising your first page?
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