The big three:
GOAL, OBSTACLE, and
RESOLUTION TEASE
Regardless of whether you're emailing your query submission package to an agent, or plan to pitch in person at a writers' conference, stick with the Industry Standard structure of goal, obstacle, and resolution tease.
Stated simplistically, the formula for your query first paragraph is: WHO wants WHAT (goal), WHAT or WHO stands in their way, and the TERRIBLE "OR ELSE" tease (resolution) if the obstacle is not resolved. The tease, when properly written, motivates the agent to keep on reading.
Second paragraph expands on the first, tells more about the protagonist's (main character) goal, shows more of their emotions, and introduces the antagonist. This is the person or situation that can prevent the protagonist from achieving their goal. This paragraph also ends with a tease, more dire than the first one.
Third paragraph is all about you. Give your title, word count, genre, and tell about your writing experience, and the writing groups or conferences you attend. This matters because it demonstrates you're proactive in advancing your writing skills.
Limit your query to 350 words or less.
Examples~
GOAL~
Little Red Riding Hood's primary goal is to share lunch with granny. The obstacle involves keeping herself off the lunch menu, and assisting the woodsman in performing a granny-ectomy (removing her grandmother from the wolf's stomach).
OBSTACLE~
In "The Wizard of Oz," Dorothy's goal is to reach the Wizard in the Emerald City. She must, in order to reach her goal, avoid the clutches of the witch (and her scary monkeys) who become the obstacle as they try to capture or kill Dorothy to retrieve the ruby shoes.
RESOLUTION~
All stories have endings where goals are achieved . . . or not. Happily ever after doesn't always happen, despite the protagonist's best efforts.
In "Gone with the Wind," Rhett leaves Scarlett. Not necessarily a "happy ending," but one that demonstrates Scarlett's "fiddle de de" gumption (and sets the stage for a sequel).
In adult fiction, the resolution must be achieved by the protagonist who has moved through obstacles to succeed or fail. (The bear does not come out of the woods and eat the bad guys. While this might satisfy the bear, it will not do the same for the reader.)
Note: Never reveal the resolution in the query letter. Only hint at the terrible "or else" that will occur if your protagonist fails to achieve their goal.
GOAL, OBSTACLE, and
RESOLUTION TEASE
Regardless of whether you're emailing your query submission package to an agent, or plan to pitch in person at a writers' conference, stick with the Industry Standard structure of goal, obstacle, and resolution tease.
Stated simplistically, the formula for your query first paragraph is: WHO wants WHAT (goal), WHAT or WHO stands in their way, and the TERRIBLE "OR ELSE" tease (resolution) if the obstacle is not resolved. The tease, when properly written, motivates the agent to keep on reading.
Second paragraph expands on the first, tells more about the protagonist's (main character) goal, shows more of their emotions, and introduces the antagonist. This is the person or situation that can prevent the protagonist from achieving their goal. This paragraph also ends with a tease, more dire than the first one.
Third paragraph is all about you. Give your title, word count, genre, and tell about your writing experience, and the writing groups or conferences you attend. This matters because it demonstrates you're proactive in advancing your writing skills.
Limit your query to 350 words or less.
Examples~
GOAL~
Little Red Riding Hood's primary goal is to share lunch with granny. The obstacle involves keeping herself off the lunch menu, and assisting the woodsman in performing a granny-ectomy (removing her grandmother from the wolf's stomach).
OBSTACLE~
In "The Wizard of Oz," Dorothy's goal is to reach the Wizard in the Emerald City. She must, in order to reach her goal, avoid the clutches of the witch (and her scary monkeys) who become the obstacle as they try to capture or kill Dorothy to retrieve the ruby shoes.
RESOLUTION~
All stories have endings where goals are achieved . . . or not. Happily ever after doesn't always happen, despite the protagonist's best efforts.
In "Gone with the Wind," Rhett leaves Scarlett. Not necessarily a "happy ending," but one that demonstrates Scarlett's "fiddle de de" gumption (and sets the stage for a sequel).
In adult fiction, the resolution must be achieved by the protagonist who has moved through obstacles to succeed or fail. (The bear does not come out of the woods and eat the bad guys. While this might satisfy the bear, it will not do the same for the reader.)
Note: Never reveal the resolution in the query letter. Only hint at the terrible "or else" that will occur if your protagonist fails to achieve their goal.
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The Query Letter~
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I struggled through several drafts of my query letter until, with some guidance from Molli,
I finally nailed and memorized it to successfully pitch to an agent at a writer's conference . . . from Kim ON THIS PAGE:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Molli’s one-hour query presentation energized our group. Several members commented on how much they needed the information she shared with us.
. . . from Bria Burton, Group Leader, Florida Writers Association. . . . . . . . . . . . .
You're invited! Receive a continual stream of "how to get published" guidance and inspiration. How? Click on the blue button below to request my tutorial, "How to Write a Query that Lands an Agent." You'll also receive a FREE, 12-page, self-editing workbook to help you polish your manuscript before sending it out into the publishing world. And, as a special bonus, you'll receive a "Molli Memo" twice a month, containing:
(BTW: I never will share or sell your email address. That's a double pinky promise! )
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . I've read every one of Molli's amazing newsletters at least five times. To say they're invaluable is an under-statement! . . . from author Edward Felder, "The Funding Guy" |
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Email query format~
To: MerrileeSells-a-lot@greatagency.com
SUBJECT: Hungry boy vs hungry giant. Outcome uncertain. Starving and desperate, 12-year old Jack gambles on genetically altered seeds that lead him to untold riches, just waiting to be plundered. Inept at stealing, Jack is discovered and becomes public enemy #1, wanted dead or alive . . . preferable dead. Jack and his widowed mother face certain starvation when their crops fail and Bossy goes dry. Jack leads Bossy into town and swaps her for a handful of magic seeds which sprout (overnight) into a cloud-high bean stalk. Jack climbs it up and into another dimension. He sneaks into a humungous castle and observes a carnivorous giant adding crunch (and fiber) to his bread as he kneads bones into the dough. Jack steals gold coins which he gives to mom to buy food. Then, he climbs back up the stalk to steal a goose who lays gold eggs, thereby guaranteeing residual income. When the giant discovers his property is missing, he flies into a rage and stomps around the castle, vowing to capture and consume the thief. Jack climbs the stalk a third time to nab a small singing harp who rats him out. Jack crams the harp into his backpack and flees, oblivious to the havoc that will ensue if the giant follows him down the stalk and into the human world. Jack and the Beanstalk is one of twenty-two fables in my 56,000 word book, “English Fairy Tales.” This compilation consists of unpublished stories as told by European storytellers. I’ve edited two published books, Celtic Fairy Tales, and European Folk Stories. A member of the Storytellers’ Guild, I attend the Writer’s Digest yearly conference, and host a writers’ critique group. Thank you for your time and consideration. Joseph Jacob 234 Broadway New York, New York 10000 123-123-3467 Email: thestoryguy@gmail.com Blog: jospehthestorydude.com Twitter: @joseph the story dude Linkedin: Joseph Jacob Pinterest: Josephs cool stuff . . . and more if you have them. |
Subject line motivates the agent to keep reading. Jump right into the story. First paragraph tells who the story is about, what they want (GOAL), why can't they have it (OBSTACLE), and the terrible "OR ELSE" (RESOLUTION) that will occur if the protagonists' goal is not achieved. This is written as a tease. No extra line between tabbed paragraphs. Second paragraph expands on the first, showing more of Jack's actions/emotions and further introduces the antagonist, the giant. Jack continues to pursue his goal and appears to be on his way to success by developing a career path of stealing. (Interesting message for children). Do not reveal the story resolution, but end the second paragraph with another tease, more dire than the first. You want the agent/acquisitions editor to keep on reading your submission documents (synopsis and sample pages) to find out what happens. Third paragraph includes the title, word count, writing background (if any), plus writing groups with whom you work and any writer's conferences you attend. Stack contact information under your name. |
