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                                     The big three: 
                   GOAL, OBSTACLE, and
                  RESOLUTION TEASE


Regardless of whether you're emailing your query submission package to an agent, or plan to pitch in person at a writers' conference, stick with the Industry Standard structure of goal, obstacle, and resolution tease.

Stated simplistically, the formula for your query first paragraph is: WHO wants WHAT (goal), WHAT or WHO stands in their way, and the TERRIBLE "OR ELSE" tease (resolution) if the obstacle is not resolved. The tease, when properly written, motivates the agent to keep on reading.


Second paragraph expands on the first, tells more about the protagonist's (main character) goal, shows more of their emotions, and introduces the antagonist. This is the person or situation that can prevent the protagonist from achieving their goal. This paragraph also ends with a tease, more dire than the first one.

Third paragraph is all about you. Give your title, word count, genre, and tell about your writing experience, and the writing groups or conferences you attend. This matters because it demonstrates you're proactive in advancing your writing skills.

Limit your query to 350 words or less.


Examples~
GOAL~
Little Red Riding Hood's primary goal is to share lunch with granny. The obstacle involves keeping herself off the lunch menu, and assisting the woodsman in performing a granny-ectomy (removing her grandmother from the wolf's stomach).
OBSTACLE~
In "The Wizard of Oz," Dorothy's goal is to reach the Wizard in the Emerald City. She must, in order to reach her goal, avoid the clutches of the witch (and her scary monkeys) who become the obstacle as they try to capture or kill Dorothy to retrieve the ruby shoes.
RESOLUTION~
All stories have endings where goals are achieved . . . or not. Happily ever after doesn't always happen, despite the protagonist's best efforts.
   In "Gone with the Wind," Rhett leaves Scarlett. Not  necessarily a "happy ending," but one that demonstrates Scarlett's "fiddle de de" gumption (and sets the stage for a sequel).
   In adult fiction, the resolution must be achieved by the protagonist who has moved through obstacles to succeed or fail. (The bear does not come out of the woods and eat the bad guys. While this might satisfy the bear, it will not do the same for the reader.)

Note:
Never reveal the resolution in the query letter. Only hint at the terrible "or else" that will occur if your protagonist fails to achieve their goal.


     
            The Query Letter~
                                      The big three: 
     GOAL, OBSTACLE, and RESOLUTION TEASE

Regardless of whether you're emailing your query submission package to an agent, or plan to pitch in person at a writers' conference, stick with the Industry Standard structure of goal, obstacle, and resolution tease.

Stated simplistically, the formula for your query first paragraph is: WHO wants WHAT and WHY (goal), WHY they can't have it (obstacle), and the TERRIBLE "OR ELSE" tease (resolution) if the obstacle is not resolved. The tease is written to motivate the agent to keep on reading.


Second paragraph expands on the first, tells more about the protagonist's (main character) goal, shows more of their emotions, and introduces the antagonist. This is the person or situation that can prevent the protagonist from achieving their goal.

Third paragraph is all about you. Give your title, word count, genre, and tell about your writing experience, and the writing groups or conferences you attend. This matters because it demonstrates you're proactive in advancing your writing skills.

Limit your query to 350 words or less.


GOAL~
Little Red Riding Hood's primary goal is to  share lunch with granny. This evolves into keeping herself off the lunch menu, and assisting the woodsman in performing a granny-ectomy (removing her grandmother from the wolf's stomach).

OBSTACLE~
In "The Wizard of Oz," Dorothy's goal is to reach the Wizard in the Emerald City. Every step of the way the witch (and her scary monkeys) try to capture or kill Dorothy to retrieve the ruby shoes.

RESOLUTION~
All stories have endings where goals are achieved . . . or not. Happily ever after doesn't always happen, despite the protagonist's best efforts.

In "Gone with the Wind," Rhett leaves Scarlett. Not  necessarily a "happy ending," but one that demonstrates Scarlett's "fiddle de de" gumption (and sets the stage for a sequel).

In adult fiction, the resolution must be achieved by the protagonist who has moved through obstacles to succeed or fail. (The bear does not come out of the woods and eat the bad guys. While this might satisfy the bear, it will not do the same for the reader.)

Note: Never reveal the story resolution in the query letter. Only hint at the terrible "or else" that will occur should your protagonist fail to achieve their goal.



Easie-peasie query practice~
The following query is written for "Jack and the Beanstalk," published in 1894 BC (before computers). You may wonder about the purpose of creating a query for a story that's been published in a zillion languages around the world.

It's all about learning a new skill.

When you have no investment in the outcome of a query, you can relax and have fun. That's right, I said "fun." You may not have thought that word would ever appear in the same paragraph with the word query. Think again.
When you hone query-writing skills on a story you've known most of your life, the experience becomes less of an intimidating chore and more like a learning adventure with a trusted friend.


Digital requirements for emailed query submission packets~

Today, most agents request queries arrive in one emailed document called "the query submission packet" which contains query, synopsis, and sample pages.

This means you must keep your query brief, to the point, and interesting enough to motivate the agent to continue scrolling through your material to read your synopsis and sample pages instead of hitting the dreaded delete key! FYI: your submitted material first may be read by an acquisitions editor, assistant, or intern, then, if it warrants further attention, will be forwarded to the agent who makes the "yes" or "no" decision.

BUT FIRST, make certain your email actually is opened. Craft an attention-grabbing email SUBJECT line to guarantee your email will be opened. Do not use your book title unless it's captivating.

Size Matters~
Because your query submission documents probably will be read on a laptop, tablet, or smart phone screen, don't waste space. Begin your query on the first line of your email.

(Some writers have been so conditioned to write query letters in standard "snail mail" format, they simply cannot resist the impulse to write something on the first line, even if it's "Dear So-and So.") If you are trapped in that habit, fine. Go ahead and do it. But, be smart. Use that line to your advantage. Write your title, genre, and word count. ONE LINE ONLY.

Then begin your query on the next line.  (Do not add an extra line between the first and second line.)

Craft your first paragraph to clarify the goal, obstacle, and resolution of your protagonist. Don't write the final resolution, only hint at the terrible "what if" should your protagonist fail to achieve their goal.

The first few sentences of your query might be all that is read by the agent who must be interested sufficiently to scroll down to keep reading. All the more reason to pack those first few lines with your best "stuff."

Write your next two paragraphs in standard query format (see the example below).

Stack your contact information, flush left, directly below "thank you for your time and consideration." 

           . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .











Picture
I struggled through several drafts of my query letter until, with some guidance from Molli,
I finally nailed and memorized it to successfully pitch to an agent at a writer's conference

. . . from Kim



ON THIS PAGE:
  • Successful query letters
  • Digital requirements for emailed query submission packets
  • Query letter format of goal, obstacle, and the terrible "or else" resolution tease.
  • Why size matters.
  • Easie-peasie query practice.
  • Format for an emailed query letter.

    
       . . . . . . . . . . . . . 



Picture
Molli’s one-hour query presentation energized our group. Several members commented on how much they needed the information she shared with us.
. . .  from Bria Burton,
Group Leader,
Florida Writers Association.



      . . . . . . . . . . . .

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. . . from author Edward Felder,  "The Funding Guy"


    
Email query format~ 

To: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Hungry boy vs hungry giant. Outcome uncertain.


Starving and desperate, 12-year old Jack gambles on genetically altered seeds that lead him to untold riches, just waiting to be plundered. Inept at stealing, Jack is discovered and becomes public enemy #1, wanted dead or alive . . . preferable dead. 
    Jack and his widowed mother face certain starvation when their crops fail and Bossy goes dry. Jack leads Bossy into town and swaps her for a handful of magic seeds which  sprout (overnight) into a cloud-high bean stalk. Jack climbs it up and into another dimension. He sneaks into a humungous castle and observes a carnivorous giant adding crunch (and fiber) to his bread as he kneads bones into the dough. Jack steals gold coins which he gives to mom to buy food. Then, he climbs back up the stalk to steal a goose who lays gold eggs, thereby guaranteeing residual income. When the giant discovers his property is missing, he flies into a rage and stomps around the castle, vowing to capture and consume the thief. Jack climbs the stalk a third time to nab a small singing harp who rats him out. Jack crams the harp into his backpack and flees, oblivious to the havoc that will ensue if the giant follows him down the stalk and into the human world.
    Jack and the Beanstalk is one of twenty-two fables in my 56,000 word book, “English Fairy Tales.” This compilation consists of unpublished stories as told by European storytellers. I’ve edited two published books, Celtic Fairy Tales, and European Folk Stories. A member of the Storytellers’ Guild, I attend the Writer’s Digest yearly conference, and host a writers’ critique group.
    Thank you for your time and consideration.

Joseph Jacob
234 Broadway
New York, New York 10000
123-123-3467 

Email: [email protected]
Blog: jospehthestorydude.com
Twitter: @joseph the story dude
Linkedin: Joseph Jacob
Pinterest: Josephs cool stuff
. . . and more if you have them.




Subject line motivates the agent to keep reading.

Jump right into the story.

First paragraph tells who the story is about, what they want (GOAL), why can't they have it (OBSTACLE), and the terrible "OR ELSE" (RESOLUTION) that will occur if the protagonists' goal is not achieved. This is written as a tease.


No extra line between tabbed paragraphs.

Second paragraph expands on the first, showing more of Jack's actions/emotions and further introduces the antagonist, the giant. Jack continues to pursue his goal and appears to be on his way to success by developing a career path of stealing. (Interesting message for children).

Do not reveal the story resolution, but end the second paragraph with another tease, more dire than the first. You want the agent/acquisitions editor to keep on reading your submission documents (synopsis and sample pages) to find out what happens.


Third paragraph includes the title, word count, writing background (if any), plus writing groups with whom you work and any writer's conferences you attend.



Stack contact information under your name.



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