July 25th, 2015

At least 50% of the queries that cross my virtual desk "tell about" the story instead of "telling" the story. Don't do this unless the agent requests the "about" information in the first paragraph: title, word count, and genre. Otherwise, begin your query by telling your story and including who wants what, (GOAL), why they can't have it OBSTACLE), and the potential for a terrible "or else" (RESOLUTION) that could occur if the GOAL is not achieved. This is the industry standard. If you want to vary from this format, do so at your own peril. You'll be telegraphing a message to agents and acquisition editors that you either don't know the industry standard or are so arrogant you decided not to follow it. Either way, your query will fly off to deleteville.